Max and Miles who, to Me, Will Always be Secretly Named "Gus"

The blog about Max and his little brother, Miles. Stunningly cute boys and future leaders of the rebel forces.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Can I Help You?

There's not a lot that I can add to this. For reasons that are sort of clear to me, this picture makes me proud and Katie awfully nervous. She looks at this picture, points at her belly, points at Max's room and asks, "What am I? Some kind of "Matt" cloning machine? It's not funny!"

Well, I suppose if I'm totally honest, it makes me a bit nervous too. Right now, it's hilarious (to me): the "me" in there, you know? However, soon - sooner than I'd like, I'm sure - the "me" in there is going to be enormously infuriating. Enormously. So, that is why I'm happy to enjoy it now before this same face, in a few years (months?), makes me say: "Why you little. . . !!" a la Homer.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Friday Brain-Meltingly Cute Blogging

Max says: Sorry about your brains everybody!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Hooooooray, Paradigm Shift!!


Sunday, September 09, 2007

Max on Eleven

So, you say, what do I need to do to increase Max's amperage? How, pray tell, could I make Max more?
You don't need the meth and you don't need the speed, you just need to skip the morning nap; then you skip the afternoon nap. That gets you this:

But you say, ehh, this does not seem quite loud enough. I need toddler-mania set to a vibration level for dogs and bats. Well then, after your gratuitous nap-skipping,
you go to family event with a live band, an open bar, and tiki torches. The tiki torches: that's what gets you this:

Lemme tell ya: there's nothing more disturbing than a mostly incoherent toddler running around your house randomly measuring things. He dashed from one thing to another, stretching out the tape and querying, "Ahhhha?" While it was all a little disconserting, we do now have handy dimensions of nearly everything in the house.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Face Plant McGee

The old adage remains true: you've got to fall dramatically out of a chair, onto your face, before you can sit in said chair and pretend it's a sit-n-spin.

Actually, now that I think about it, these development charts that we go through at Max's check-ups have got it sort of wrong. Rather than asking us how many blocks a Max can stack (A question which, by the way, has now turned me into a neurotic block-stacker whenever Max is around. Oedipus-ly enough, the boy does seem to take great pleasure in knocking down my block towers. He's not much of builder (poor development!) but, man, daddy'll get a nice stack of 8 or 9 blocks going on and Max will laugh loudly and chop it down (with the edge of his hand). I'm never sure if I should laugh along with him or run away, crying, to tell Katie what he's done. Seriously, how can anyone expect me to not screw this kid up?)

Anyyyway, these charts, they should ask, "Can your child struggle onto the couch? How long does it take? How many times does he grunt while struggling onto couch? Does the child fall off of couch? After how long? On a scale of 1-10, how willful has your child become? Can he open the screen door and walk out on his own?" These are the important questions, not whether or not he can stack three or more blocks. There's nothing like the hiss and soft "thump" of the screen door closing to let you know your kid has made a significant developmental leap.

UPDATE: Perhaps it was a mistake to write this post. Today Max had a window fall shut on his hand. Shortly thereafter, he fell down a flight of stairs. He's fine. I just want to know where to mark this on the growth chart.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

The Running of the Bulls in Dan Patch-loma

Things got ugly at the fair this year. Thankfully, Max, like his parents, is a late sleeper so we got there well after our friend met his awful end.

Last year, we had a pretty full day of fair food and Machinery Hill. That was little, compliant, baby Max. This year, we went with willful, needing-a-nap Max. We had time to score some cheese curds from our dealer and swing through the Fine Arts building. Oh, and we got to see an old lady puking into a garbage barrel. The fair is great!

The Boy'll tell you the best thing this year was the tram. Certainly, my highlight was watching Max watch the tram pass over head. He would look up until he had to lean his head waaaay back and, as the tram got further away, he would just keep leaning until he nearly fell over. Even after three or four times, this did not stop being funny.

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