I will NOT be Out-Sissified! or Happy Birthday, Honey PleaseDon'tHitMe

You know, when this guy writes a post that makes me cry, it's time for some payback! So, while I feel very sentimental about my children and all that, I'm going to do it the old fashioned way: I'm going to explain why my wife is better than his wife (and by extension, how she's better than almost all of you).

If you climb into your way-back machine, you'll remember that Katie likes to obsessively sew. Every so often, it's like she eats a just-bit-too-old taco and, instead of food poisoning, what comes out is really cute, sewn stuff. So, right before Halloween last year, she found a taco in the back of the fridge and this happened:


Yes, those are little, individually sewn, monster/scary things heads.









Then, just days later, for Miles' second birthday party, since Miles has been into the dinosaurs, Katie made a dinosaur-themed cupcake mosaic. This photo was taken even before she added the red lava/frosting "erupting" from the cupcake volcanoes!

I kind of went back and forth on this over the last few months: do I post these things and make you all feel crappy(er) before the holidays or do I wait and just straight-up ruin your whole year? Go big or go home is what we say around here.

So, to my amazing, magical wife, the goddess of all that is good and true and beautiful in the world, I say Happy Birthday! Thank you for tolerating me! Thank you for being the dopest, super-hip, mega-mom to these incredible boys. You literally save us everyday; bring home the bacon; and fry it up in the pan! If, years ago, someone had told the dorky, high-school me -- wait, the grade-school me. . . wait, the kindergarten me -- that, fear not, fat kid! The coolest, smartest, funniest, hottest most-angelic woman you ever met is going to love you and offset all your genetic and emotional shortcomings in the guise of two, brain-meltingly cute kids! Well, I would've laughed you right out of my naptime.

So even though I made you all feel kinda inadequate, I'll thank you for not waking me out of whatever crazy, giggling/screaming/whining-kids-everywhere dream I'm having right now.

Happy Birthday, Mamacita!