Max Unplugged

Like any good drug, you build up a tolerance to The Cute. When they first started giving The Cute out for free at the playground, you know, like tickling Max to make him laugh, that would be enough to get us through the day. Nowadays, though, we'd have to tickle him for an hour just to get a buzz on. But then, after they go to bed, we'd have to look at old pictures of them on Picasa just to top off. Part of this, of course, is because their increasingly epic tantrums are totally harshing our buzzes. Jerks.

Yesterday, though, was pure, uncut, Columbian Cute. Crazazy Thai Stick Cute that could have you pushing off blissfully for decades. The kind of cute that, fifteen years from now, when you're bailing Max out of jail. . . again, will have you saying, "What lawyer's fees?"

It was Max's first Holiday Concert at his pre-school. All week, he had been saying he wasn't going to sing and would probably just come sit with us when his class filed in. No biggie: I've seen the kid sing every song off of Here Comes Science just while he's taking a bath. So, I was, to say the least, intrigued, when Max actually walked in with the rest of his class, stayed in line and started to sing. In about 3 seconds, 20-odd years of cynicism and spite were blasted away by a one billion-degree furnace fueled primarily by instant oatmeal and insane levels of Cute. Kinda like the sun in this song but, yeah, hotter. I wanted the whole world to see this. . . except for Joe Lieberman. He can rot in hell. Everyone else? In time, you may have a hit off this bong.

While I do love that Max spent the first bit of the song phoning it in while he tried to pick me out of the crowd (I had moved to get a better shot) and then really got into it once he knew I was watching. . .yeah, I love that. What really blows me away is that each kid was doing just that to each of their respective families: everybody in the whole joint was having their mind blown in that old, echo-y basement. Really, if you watch the video enough times (as I have), you'll see that every little goofball does something completely uproarious at some point during the song. Just check out the kid in red, starting at about :44 in.

So, crazy world, if I don't get a post up before the holidays go all ten-pound sledgehammer to my head, consider this my gift to you. No matter how many times the figurative or literal Maxes in your life refuse to put their jackets on or freak out 'cause you asked them to turn off the TV or won't vote for a public option, remember: we'll always have this video.