Their Lawyers Write Letters

Dear Max R_____ P_______:

We represent M____ P______ and K____ R_____, heretoafter referred to as "Your Parents". Your Parents provide for you both food and shelter and, in return, you to provide "cuteness" and "continuation of the gene collective" as well as some mowing and other duties as assigned.

It as come to our attention that you are, in fact, growing. Growing in such a way as to impede the delivery of the "cuteness", one of your primary duties. While it may have been previously assumed that your increasing mobility and emotional growth could be considered cute, it has also resulted in more falling (not cute) and more churlishness (also not cute). Your increased motor skills, size and overall development are interupting your fulfillment of the parent/child contract. Also, it appears that, soon, you may demand some sort of allowance.

We hereby demand that you immediately abandon all growing as to continue your abilty to deliver "the cute" while minimizing your emotional outbursts and falling.

We request that you will comply with the foregoing request to cease and desist from growing by November 20th, 2006. If you do not confirm compliance by such time, we shall advise our clients to pursue their legal remedies and enforce their rights.

Sincerely,
Bob Loblaw