You Want Fries With That?

Earlier, we discussed some of the new sensations and experiences that come along with fatherhood. Things you thought you’d never dig, turn out to be not so bad. While the kid is baking, you think about the diapers, their contents and dealing with that. I remember thinking, “Ok, it’s gonna be smelly, but that’s ok. You can do this!” I never imagined that I would be singing songs and doing little dances based on the qualites of that day’s bowel movement. These are the places you go.
However, having your hand gummed is just downright weird. First, I think Max could open beer bottles with his tongue. I could feel the tendons in my hand being pushed around: weird. Then there’s the toothless mouth skronkin’ down on your defenseless digits. I think it’s because we’ve had teeth for so long, the whole no-teeth thing just doesn’t feel right, you know?
You stand there, wanting to make the kid happy and, so, you sublimate your creeped-out-ness and let him gnaw away until you’re hand is all wrinklely.