Thou Shalt not Covet thy Neighbor's Bjorn

Whew! I checked my laminated, wallet-sized list of the Ten Commandments just to make sure this one wasn’t on there, and it’s not. Guilt-free coveting! Max’s little buddy, Finn, swung by my work the other day and, lord, his newer, higher-tech Bjorn was much sexier than Max’s Bjorn. Please, nobody tell Max: BabyDaddy has Bjorn lust for another Bjorn. Well, I guess, really, you shouldn’t tell the Bjorn.
Finn’s Bjorn had nice, quiet, plastic hooks and latches rather than the big, noisy button snaps. Also, it looked much more comfortable to wear under the clothes, making my whole “never-take-off-the-Bjorn” thing a bit more workable.
See, this is why Capitalism sucks! There should only be one kind of Bjorn, you buy it with your wheat credits, and you stand in a really long line to get one! Although, I’d have to give up my Tivo and Netflix, wouldn’t I? Yeah, Capitalism!